The Ingenious Solution of Jock MacLain

Noo Jock MacLain was a Hielan' mon
An he cam' fra a noble maury
And he wore a kilt of the real Mac Lain
That nae mair than kivvered his Glory
The kilt wi' the weather began tae shrink
'Til it nae mair than reached his hurdies
And Jock was shocked one day tae find
That it scarcely kivvered his birdie!

And that waur a bad condition, of course
For he couldn't wear his best one
And tae cut off a bit of the birdie's head
Waur a thing clear oot of the question!
So he thoucht and he thoucht and he better than thoucht,
'Til a thoucht in his heid cam' dartin'
And he bought some paint, and he painted his bird
'Til it couldnae be told frae his tartan!

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