The Herald's Complaint

When I was just a pursuivant at Herald High
I studied with a conscience as the days went by;
I listened to the lectures and took note of evry phrase
And I gave my life to learning the correct heraldic ways.

But with ev'ning come and classes closed and midnight candles burnt,
I would lie in bed and hearken back to all that I had learnt,
And as I lay near slumber's door beneath the candle's gleam
An eerie vision came to me appearing in a dream - It was

Beside the field of honor at a tournament
I was resting from my labors in the herald's tent
When my reverie was broken by a newly-belted knight
Who had come for some assurance that his coat of arms was right.

I sat him down and talked to him about simplicity
And shared with him the good advice that had been taught to me.
"My lord," he said, "My thanks to thee, you really have been kind.
Now let me tell you of the coat of arms I have in mind. I want

"Your blazon is impossible," was my response.
"It's so complex, the college would reject it at the nonce.
It breaks the rules of heraldry; it can't be done, you see.
Besides, the arms you've blazoned have been registered to me. I have a

And those are the arms that belong to me!"

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