The Anachronism Tango
To the tune of The Masochism Tango
I ache for the sight of your sword, dear,
And to call you milady / milord, dear,
Let's dress like Celts
And wear bunny pelts
As we dance the Anachronism Tango.
May our light be a flame, not a flash, love
May the Pox never make us act rash, love
Try not to laugh
When I calligraph
As we dance the Anachronism Tango.
At your command
In armor here I stand,
My sword is in my hand -- Ouch!
Next time, I'll hold the hilt.
The fight is fierce
(To quote from Ambrose Bierce).
So long -- I gotta pierce
That guy there, in the kilt.
I think that my cloak's out of period
(I got the design from Lem's
Cyberiad),
But none can assail
My dominant mail
As we dance the Anachronism Tango.
I met a Knight
When I ate at your table;
Or, a stag rampant sable
Were the arms that he bore.
And we had quite a fight
Whether it was a wagon,
Or (as he claimed) a dragon,
That he drove to the War.
We'll cook leg of lamb, not knishes,
And try to stretch out the loaves and fishes;
And then we'll draw lots
For who'll clean the pots
As we dance the Anachronism Tango.
I'll sew a seam,
And make my armor gleam,
And anything you deem
Authentic, I shall try;
I'll brew some beer,
And then some sheep I'll shear,
Because it is, my dear,
A terrific day to day to dye. (Sorry.)
So sew me a gown made of satin;
Speak English, pretending that it's Latin,
Or use "thee" and "thou,"
And "Zounds" -- with an "ou" --
As we dance the Anachronism Tango.
This songbook is collected mainly for my personal use and the enjoyment of my friends.
If you are the author or copyright holder of this song and would like me to take it down, please just write to me at
songbook-at-waks-dot-org, and I will do so.