Hark the Herald Alfgar Screams

"Hark!" the Herald Alfgar screams,
"Don't use blues on top of greens,
Or and argent, that's all right:
Metals and tinctures do not fight.
Use a bend, no Highland plaids,
Keep it simple, please, my lads,
Azure, vert, purpure and gules
Must follow all my Herald's rules."
"Hark!" the Herald Alfgar screams,
"Don't use blues on top of greens."

"Hark!" the Herald Alfgar yells,
"Don't use cars and oilwells,
Period, we beg you please,
Tygers we can draw with ease.
Please don't ask for rubber bands:
These must pass through Laurel's hands;
We draw rampant, couchant too,
Dancing the Hustle no can do."
"Hark!" the Herald Alfgar yells,
"Don't use cars and oilwells."

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