Charlie and the SCA
AKA
The Man Who Never Logged Out
To the tune of Charlie and the MTA
Now, let me tell you the story of a man named Charlie
On that tragic and fateful day --
He logged into the computer, started readin' the Usenet,
On a group about the S.C.A.
And did he ever log out?
No, he never logged out,
And his fate will be in some doubt;
He may read forever on the screens of Usenet --
He's the man who never logged out.
Charlie had figured that the number of messages
Would be ten or fifteen;
The computer said, "Three thousand unread postings" --
Charlie couldn't get off that machine!
Repeat Chorus
Charlie's lady goes down to the bowels of the basement
Every night at half-past-three,
And she hand-feeds Charlie with some gruel and some pasties,
So his hands don't have to leave the keys.
Repeat Chorus
Now, all night long Charlie reads at the station,
'Bout the Pennsic Land Lott'ry,
Wond'rin' if he will ever get to read rec.arts.comics,
Or rec.humor.funny.
Repeat Chorus
Now, you citizens of Usenet, don't you think that it's a scandal,
How this group continues to grow;
Fight the traffic volume, and bring down the bandwidth --
Get poor Charlie off the Rialto !
Or else he'll never log out!
No, he'll never log out,
And his fate will stay in doubt;
He may read forever on the screens of Usenet,
He's the man who'll never log out.
Extra verse and Chorus by Ioseph of Locksley:
Charlie learned how to speed-read and he finished the Rialto
Then he heard about FIDO Net.....
Logged onto MEDIEVAL, and HERALDS, and BARDIC,
TRIMARIS and SCAh-CANDY Net !
Now he'll never log out, no he'll never log out
And his fate is in some doubt.....
In his pavilion with his lap-top, and cellular modem
He's the man who'll never log out!
This songbook is collected mainly for my personal use and the enjoyment of my friends.
If you are the author or copyright holder of this song and would like me to take it down, please just write to me at
songbook-at-waks-dot-org, and I will do so.
